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PS 3525 
.U45 W3 
1915 
Copy 1 


PRICE 15 CENTS 


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Waiting for 

the Trolley 


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Edward Mumford 


THE PI 




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IBLISHING COMPANY 











































































































Successful Rural Plays 

A Strong List From Which to Select Your 

Next Play 

FARM FOLKS. A Rural Play in Four Acts, by Arthur 
Lewis Tubbs. For five male and six female characters. Time 
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easy interior scenes. Costumes, modern. Flora Goodwin, a 
farmer’s daughter, is engaged to Philip Burleigh, a young New 
Yorker. Philip’s mother wants him to marry a society woman, 
and by falsehoods makes Flora believe Philip does not love her. 
Dave Weston, who wants Flora himself, helps the deception by 
intercepting a letter from Philip to Flora. She agrees to marry 
Dave, but on the eve of their marriage Dave confesses, Philip 
learns the truth, and he and Flora are reunited. It is a simple 
plot, but full of speeches and situations that sway an audience 
alternately to tears and to laughter. Price, 25 cents. 

HOME TIES. A Rural Play in Four Acts, by Arthur 
Lewis Tubbs. Characters, four male, five female. Plays two 
hours and a half. Scene, a simple interior—same for all four 
acts. Costumes, modern. One of the strongest plays Mr. Tubbs 
has written. Martin Winn’s wife left him when his daughter 
Ruth was a baby. Harold Vincent, the nephew and adopted son 
of the man who has wronged Martin, makes love to Ruth Winn. 
She is also loved by Len Everett, a prosperous young farmer. 
When Martin discovers who Harold is, he orders him to leave 
Ruth. Harold, who does not love sincerely, yields. Ruth dis¬ 
covers she loves Len, but thinks she has lest him also. Then 
he comes back, and Ruth finds her happiness. Price 25 cents. 

THE OLD NEW HAMPSHIRE HOME. A New 

England Drama in Three Acts, by Frank Dumont. For seven 
males and four females. Time, two hours and a half. Costumes, 
modern. A play with a strong heart interest and pathos, yet rich 
in humor. Easy to act and very effective. A rural drama of 
the “Old Homstead” and “Way Down East” type. Two ex¬ 
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everybody understands and likes. Price, 25 cents. 

THE OLD DAIRY HOMESTEAD. A Rural Comedy 

»n Three Acts, by Frank Dumont. For five males and four 
‘females. Time, two hours. Rural costumes. Scenes rural ex¬ 
terior and interior. An adventurer obtains a large sum of money 
from a farm house through the intimidation of the farmer’s 
niece, whose husband he claims to be. Her escapes from the 
wiles of the villain and his female accomplice are both starting 
and novel. Price, 15 cents. 

A WHITE MOUNTAIN BOY. A Strong Melodrama in 

Five Acts, by Charles Townsend. For seven males and four 
females, and three supers. Time, two hours and twenty minutes. 
One exterior, three interiors. Costumes easy. The hero, a 
country lad, twice saves the life of a banker’s daughter, which 
results in their betrothal. A scoundrelly clerk has the banker 
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15 cents. 

THE PENN PUBLISHING COMPANY 

PHILADELPHIA 


Waiting for the 
Trolley 



An Entertainment in One Act 


BY 

EDWARD MUMFORD 

Author of “BARGAIN DAY AT BLOOMSTEIN’S,” 
“JONES vs. JINKS,” ‘A SQUARE DEAL," etc 



PHILADELPHIA 

THE PENN PUBLISHING COMPANY 

1915 



Copyright 1913 by The Penn Publishing Company 


Library of Congress 



2009 525010 


/ 

JUN 24 1915 

©CI.D 41038 

























Waiting for the Trolley 


CHARACTERS 

Terry O’Shea . who announces the cars. 

Tom Sweet . who is eloping. 

Hiram Hoskins . with two settin's of eggs. 

Mr. Lovebird . Luella's irate father. 

Nervous Gentleman . with a grudge against the company. 

Hans Pfeffer . who has blenty of time. 

Percy . a big responsibility. 

Polly Pickles . the lunch-counter girl. 

Miss Sharp . who is bound to make trouble. 

Luella Lovebird . helping Tom to elope. 

Betty, ^ 

Hetty, suffragettes — but they love a lover. 

Letty, ) 

Woman Passenger . Percy's mother. 

Stout Old Lady . with a grievance. 

Other Passengers, male or female , young or old , as 
desired. 

Tom Sweet may double one Passenger and Nervous 
Gentleman ; Stout Old Lady may double Woman Pas¬ 
senger ; Mr. Lovebird may double Hans Pfeffer and 
one Passenger. Arranged in this way the farce requires 
five males and six females and provides for two Other 
Passengers. 


Time of Playing.—O ne hour. 


3 











» 


STORY OF THE ENTERTAINMENT 

The scene is a country waiting-room, witffadujnch-counter 
and benches. Some of the passengers, '.especially one 
Nervous Gentleman, are indignant over the poor service the 
trolley company gives. They are about to sign an agree¬ 
ment never to ride in the cars again when theit^c^r comes, 
and they all rush for it.- Polly Pickles, the new lunch- 
counter girl, thinks she won’t like the place. “ Nothing 
ever happens here.” Terry, the announcer, says some¬ 
thing is sure to happen now Polly has come. Hiram Hos¬ 
kins goes to sleep, misses the car and smashes his eggs. 
Luella Lovebird and Tom Sweet are eloping. Terry and 
Polly help them. “I wish it was us.” Miss Sharp 
threatens to spoil things. Polly defies her. “I’ll smash 
this cream-puff on your good clothes.” Mr. Lovebird is 
hot on the trail, but Polly and Terry hide the lovers, as¬ 
sisted by the three suffragettes. Mr. Lovebird gets into 
trouble with Hiram, and has to pay for the eggs. Terry 
puts Mr. Lovebird on a false scent, and he dashes off to 
chase his daughter in an automobile. Miss Sharp dis¬ 
appointed. The lovers, the suffragettes and the other pas¬ 
sengers all go out to get on the car, leaving Polly and 
Terry. Polly agrees that “ things do happen around 
here,” and learns Terry’s first name. 


4 


COSTUMES, ETC. 

Terry. About twenty. Wears dark suit—blue if pos¬ 
sible, and a Uniform cap like that of a trolley company em¬ 
ployee. 

Tom. About twenty-five. Wears summer suit and 
straw hat. He carries at first entrance two rain-coats, and 
several large bags and boxes. 

Hiram. About fifty. Wears “ countrified ” clothes, 
chin whiskers, glasses, and large straw hat. 

Mr. Lovebird. About sixty. Red-faced, side-whiskered, 
choleric, and rather stout. Wears automobile duster, cap, 
and goggles. 

Nervous Gentleman. Forty or over. Thin ; wears 
glasses, dark suit, and carries umbrella. Very precise in 
all his words and acts. 

Hans. About fifty. “ Dutch ” make-up, as funny as 
possible. 

Percy. Should be a large young man, dressed like a 
boy of ten. He always whines when he talks. 

Polly. Eighteen to twenty. Dark dress and white 
apron. Rather short skirt. Very neat and pretty. 

Miss Sharp. Over fifty. Thin and vinegary. Wears 
shawl and bonnet, and has quite an air of being “ all dressed 
up.” She carries a baggy umbrella. 

Luella. About twenty. Pretty, small, and timid. 
Has a very childish, appealing manner. Carries a cage 
with canary bird. 

Betty, Hetty, Letty. All good-looking young women. 
They wear pretty summer clothes and hats, but are simply 
dressed. Diagonally hung from the shoulder of each is a 
sash with the words “Votes For Women.” Betty carries a 
banner with the same device. 

Woman Passenger, Stout Old Lady, etc. These and 
other passengers may be costumed to suit the fancy of the 
actors. They should look like country people, and should 
carry many baskets, bundles, baggy cotton umbrellas, dogs, 
chickens, etc. 


5 


PROPERTIES 


For Terry: Money, cigarettes. For Tom: Two 
large hat-boxes, two rain-coats, two suit-cases, lady’s um¬ 
brella. For Hiram: Package tied with string; large 
silver watch. For Hans: Large sausage. For Mr. 
Lovebird : Money. For Nervous Gentleman : Watch, 
paper, pencil, bag. 

For Polly : Folded newspaper, sandwich, cream-puff. 
For Luella : Canary in cage. For Betty : Sash with 
words “Votes for Women,” banner and badges with same 
words; hand-bag. For Letty and Hetty : hand-bags, 
badges, sashes. For Miss Sharp: umbrella. 

Other Properties : Placards, advertisements, time¬ 
tables, fruit, sandwiches, cream-puffs, bags of peanuts, 
magazines, etc. Trolley gong and auto horn to be used off 
stage. 


SCENE PLOT 



SCENE.—Trolley waiting-room. Doors r. and L. Coun¬ 
ter up r. Benches r. l. and C. Fruit, peanuts, maga¬ 
zines, etc., on counter. Stools in front of counter. 
Advertisements, placards, etc., on walls. 


6 






Waiting for the Trolley 




SCENE.— A country trolley station and waiting-room. 
Entrances r. and l. Up R. counter, with cream-puffs, 
fruit, bags of peanuts, soft drinks, sandwiches, post¬ 
cards, magazines, etc., displayed for sale. Stools in 
front of counter. Benches down l. and r. and up l. 
Time tables, placards, advertisements, etc., on the walls. 

(Curtain discloses Hiram Hoskins seated on bench down 
l., asleep. He has a package in his lap. Stout Old 
Lady tip c. Nervous Gentleman and Hans Pfeffer 
down r. Other Passengers, as many as desired, on 
benches r., l. and c. Hans is calmly eating a large 
sausage.') 

Nervous Gentleman ( looking at watch). Dear, dear. 
When is that car coming? I’ll be late. I know PU be 
late. ( To Hans.) What time have you, sir? 

Hans. Hey! Votsay? 

Nervous Gentleman ( watch in hand). Have you the 
time ? 

Hans ( placidly ). Ya, I have blenty time. (Eats.) 
Nervous Gentleman. But what time is it? 

Hans (bewildered). Vot time it iss? 

Nervous Gentleman. Yes, yes. What time of day 
is it? 

Hans. Oh ! Vy didn’t you say so? Veil, I guess it’s 
morning yet, aindt it? (Goes on eating.) 

Nervous Gentleman. Bah ! Idiot ! ( Goes l. and 

speaks to Hiram.) Have you the time, sir? (Hiram nods 
and snores.) Well, well, are they all asleep here? (Looks 
around.) No attendants, no clocks, no anything. Jt’s an 
outrage. 

Stout Old Lady. That it is, sir. Poor management, 
I say. 

Nervous Gentleman. Poor ! It’s no management at 



8 


WAITING FOR THE TROLLEY 


all. There’s only one worse managed road in this country, 
and that’s (< na?ne local railroad). 

Stout Old Lady. Them cars is never on time. 

Nervous Gentleman. Time ! This road doesn’t know 
the meaning of the word ! 

• 

(.He looks around. Other Passengers nod and say, 
“ That's so ,” “ You're right, sir," etc.) 

Stout Old Lady. And rickety ! I’m afraid to set 
down in one of them cars. 

Other Passengers. You’re right, ma’am. Regular old 
rattletrap, etc. 

Nervous Gentleman. Well, why do we stand it ? 

Stout Old Lady. Why, indeed ? I’m goin’ to give 
’em a piece of my mind. 

Nervous Gentleman. Madam, you’ve hit the nail on 
the head. Let us protest. We’ve stood this long enough. 
(Takes out pencil and paper.) Let’s tell the president of 
this concern what we think of him and his travesty of a 
railroad. ( Writes rapidly.) “Dear sir: We, the under¬ 
signed, all regular patrons of your road, have agreed that 
we will never ride on your cars again-” 

Other Passengers. Hurray ! That’s the stuff, etc. 

Hans. Then how I get py my beesness already? 

Nervous Gentleman {tartly). Walk! {Continues to 
write and read.) “ Will never ride on your cars again 
until the-” 

(Terry O’Shea appears at door l.) 

Terry. Nine-thirty cars for all points. All-1 aboard ! 

Nervous Gentleman {dashing hastily r. and grabbing 
bag). My goodness ! There’s the car. We’ll finish this 
some other time, friends. ( Trolley gong heard off l. Exit 
Terry, l.) Wait, wait, young man. Tell them to wait, 
for goodness’ sake ! 

{Rushes out l., followed by all but Hans, and by Hiram, 

who is still asleep. Other Passengers jai?i in the door¬ 
way in their hurry.) 

Hans {slowly and calmly wrapping up sausage and 
putting it in pocket). Well, I guess I got blenty time, 
aindt it ? 




WAITING FOR THE TROLLEY 9 

(Goes slowly out l. Trolley gong heard l. Hiram nods 

and snores.) 

(Enter Polly Pickles, r. She goes behind counter, arranges 
fruit, waves flies away, etc . She sees Hiram.) 

Polly. Hul-lo ! Well, what do you know about that ? 
He ought to have went in that nine-thirty car ! (Hiram 
still holds a package in his lap, arid as his head nods lower 
and lower the package slips. Polly laughs and beats tune 
to his nods with a folded newspaper. The package slips 
further. Polly, softly.) Going! ( The package slips.') 
Going ! {It slips further.) Gone ! 

( The package slips to the floor. Hiram wakes and makes 
a futile grab for it. Polly laughs.) 

Hiram. Great snakes ! I got two settin’s o’ eggs in 
that there package. 

Polly. Well, they’re scrambled now. 

Hiram. Hey? VVhat you say? (Polly only laughs.) 
Well, I cjon’t care. ( Picks up bundle very slowly.) 'Fold 
Maria I didn’t want to take them eggs. When’s that 
Punkin Center car cornin’ ? 

Polly. Ten o’clock. 

Hiram. What say? Pm a little deef! 

Polly {shouting). Ten o’clock. The nine-thirty’s just 
gone. 

Hiram {looking at watch). Well, by gum. Missed it, 

hey ? Ain’t that the all-firedest-Well {sitting down), 

there ain’t nothin’ to do but wait. Half an hour, hey? 
Polly. You better not go to sleep. 

Hiram. Sleep? Why, that’s so. I’ll just take a little 
rest. Don’t git much when Pm t’ hum, that’s a fact. 
{Settles himself comfortably on bench, l., and closes his 
eyes. Polly goes on working , humming a tune. Hiram 
lazily brushes a fly off his left ear, and in a moment bloivs 
another off his nose.) Dang them flies ! 

{Enter Terry, l., briskly. He stops short on seeing Polly.) 

Terry. Hello ! Look who’s here. You the new lady 
on the grub counter? 

Polly {tossing her head). Impudence! 



10 


WAITING FOR THE TROLLEY 


Terry ( grinning appreciatively ). Ah, there, Peaches ! 
(Polly turns her back on him.) I said, Ah, there, Peaches ! 

Polly ( freezingly ). Were you speakin’ to me? 

Terry. Sure. Ain’t your name Peaches ? 

Polly {shortly). No, it ain’t. 

Terry. You don’t say. Well, it ought to be. It just 
fits you. 

Polly. Oh, indeed ! Fresh ! What do you want ? 

Terry. Oh, gee! I don’t know. How much are the 
sandwiches ? 

Polly. Five cents. 

Terry. With or without ? 

Polly. With or without what ? 

Terry. With or without kisses. 

Polly. Without, smarty. 

Terry. Then I don’t want one. 

Polly. All right. I’ll sell you one with a kiss. 

Terry. How much ? 

Polly. A quarter. 

Terry. Here you are. ( Gives quarter.) 

Polly {handing sandwich). All right. There’s your 
sandwich. Where do you want your kiss ? 

Terry {turning cheek). Right here, please. 

(Polly kisses her palm , then smacks him on cheek.) 

Polly. There’s your kiss. 

Terry {surprised, then laughing). Gee, kiddo, you’re 
all right. But say, you kiss too hard for me, Peaches. 

Polly. Don’t get fresh now, or I’ll give you another 
one. You got any work here, or are you just loafing around 
looking for trouble? 

Terry {grinning). Aw, nix on that stuff, kiddo. I’m 
the announcer. 

Polly {scornfully). Huh ! I knew if you had a job it 
was an easy one. What do you do to draw down a salary ? 

Terry. Me? Oh, I call out the cars, and see that 
people don’t miss ’em, and carry babies and baskets, and 
help old ladies with their umbrellas, and pretty girls with 
their baggage, and keep things movin’ generally. 

Polly. Huh ! I’ll bet the old ladies don’t get much at¬ 
tention when there’s a pretty girl around. 

Terry. Say, honest, kid, now you’re here I’m afraid I 
won’t see nobody else all day. 


WAITING FOR THE TROLLEY 


II 


Polly. Don’t you fool yourself. I’ll keep you on the 
jump. 

Terry. I believe you. Who’s your friend ? 

( Grins and motions to Hiram.) 

Polly. Oh, him ! He’s waitin’ for the Punkin Center 
car at ten o’clock. You looked after him so carefully he 
missed the nine-thirty. 

Terry. Aw, quit yer knockin’. (Goes over behind 
Hiram.) Oh, well, we better get him awake for the next 
car, anyway. Got a piece of string, Peaches? 

Polly. Fresh! Here. (She hands him string. Terry 
ties the string to Hiram’s package, then ties the other end 
firmly on Hiram’s left ear. Hiram makes vague motions 
as though driving off a fly. Polly giggles delightedly .) 
What’s that for ? 

Terry. Why, that’s a little patent of my own. When 
he goes to sleep and his bundle slips it’s goin’ to wake him 
up, see? 

Polly (laughing). That’s so. You’ll catch it when he 
wakes up, though. 

Perry. Leave it to me, kid. 

(Hiram nods, the package slips , and the string tightens. 

Hiram does not open his eyes, but slaps at his ear, straight¬ 
ens up, pulls the package further up on his lap, and goes 

to sleep again. This is repeated several limes during the 

following dialogue .) 

Polly (admiringly). Say, that’ll keep him busy a while. 
You’re real bright, ain’t you? 

Terry. Bright! Say, on the level, I’m so bright my 
• mother calls me her little son. Gimme a package o’ them 
coffin nails. (Polly laughs and hands him box of cigar¬ 
ettes. He pays her, opens box, takes out cigarette, and 
lights it, then sits on stool at counter.) Say, Peaches, any 
time you want to know my real name I’ll- 

(Enter Miss Sharp, l.) 

Miss Sharp. Young man ! (Terry is talking to Polly 
and does not hear.) Young man ! Don’t you hear me? 

Terry (turning around slowly). Ma’am ! Oh, how 



12 


WAITING FOR THE TROLLEY 


d’ye do, Miss Sharp? I didn’t see you. My, you’re l* 1 
dressed up to-day. Goin’ to the city ? 

Miss Sharp. No, i ain’t. I’m goin’ to Cherrytown, to 
my cousin’s brother-in-law’s weddin’ ! But it’s none of your 
business where I’m goin’. You better pay attention to your 
job. 

Terry. Why, I am. (Looks at Polly.) 

Miss Sharp. No, you ain’t. Why didn’t you answer 
me when I spoke? Ain’t you got good healin’ ? 

Terry. No, ma’am. I was born next door to a boiler 
factory, an’ my ears ain’t been right ever since. 

Miss Sharp. If you’re sassin’ me, young man, you’d bet¬ 
ter look out. 

Terry ( innocently ). Who, me? Oh, no, ma’am. 

Miss Sharp. Well, you’d better not, that’s all. When’s 
the next car to Cherrytown ? 

Terry. Ten o’clock. All the cars meets here then. 

Miss Sharp. Oh, well, 1 guess I can set down here an’ 
wait for it. 

Terry. Certainly, ma’am. Make yourself at home. 

Miss Sharp. I will; an’ I want you to know 1 don’t 
take no sass from nobody. 

Terry {to Polly). 1 guess she don’t need none. (Miss 
Sharp glares at them and settles herself defiantly on bench 
up l.) Say, d’ye think you’re goin’ to like it here? 

Polly. No, I ain’t. If it wasn’t for the money I 
wouldn’t stay a minute. 

Terry. Why not? 

Polly. Oh, it’s so dull. Nothin’ ever happens in a 
place like this. 

Terry. Well, let’s start something. 

(Hiram’s package slips , and he pulls it toward him , half 

awake , as before. Terry sits on stool at counter , and 

reaches for Polly’s handy which is on the counter d) 

Polly. Here, you quit that ! 

(Pulls away her hand. Miss Sharp looks at them sus¬ 
piciously. ) 

Terry. Aw, say, kiddo, tell me your name. I’m crazy 
about you. 


WAITING FOR THE TROLLEY 13 

Polly. You're crazy, all rigiit. ( He reaches for her 
hand again.) Stop that ! 

(Enter Tom Sweet, r., beckoning off r. He carries two 
large hat boxes, two rain-coats, and a lady’s umbrella.) 

Tom. Come on, dearest. ( Enter timidly r., Luella 
Lovebird, carrying a canary in a cage.) Now, don’t be 
nervous, sweetheart. Sit right down here. (Seats Luella 
on bench down r. ) Don’t be nervous. I’ll get the bags. 

(He puts the boxes on the floor at her right side, and goes 
out r. Luella looks around timidly. Reenter Tom, r., 
with two suit-cases, which he deposits on bench r., then 
sits beside Luella.) 

Luella. Oh, Tom, I’m so frightened. If father should 
catch us. 

'Tom. Now never mind your father. You leave your 
father to me. I’ll handle your father. 

Luella. Oh, Tom, that’s it. You’re so brave. If he 
comes ( looking around nervously) I know you’ll do some¬ 
thing awful. Promise me you won’t do anything awful, 
darling ? 

Tom (defiantly). Well, let him try to stop us, that’s all. 
Luella. But he’ll make an awful scene, and if it all 
gets in the papers I shall simply die. 

Tom. Oh, no, you won’t. But there isn’t going to be 
any scene. I tell you not a soul suspects us—not a soul. 

Luella. But somebody may see us and tell him we’re 
eloping. 

Tom. Now, my love, how could anybody suspect we’re 
eloping ? 

Luella. Yes, that’s so. How could they ? There’s 
the canary bird. Nobody ever carries a canary bird when 
she elopes, does she ? 

Tom. Certainly not. Don’t worry. Now (rising) there’s 
a few minutes before the car comes, and I’ve got to run across 
the street and telephone. 

Luella (in alarm). Telephone ! Oh, where—not to 
father? 

Tom. Certainly not. To the minister in the city. I 
want to be sure he’ll be waiting for us. 

Luella. Oh, must you ? YVell—don’t be long, will you ? 


WAITING FOR THE TROLLEY 


H 

{Looks about nervously.') 

Tom. No, dearest. ( Goes l.) 

Luella. And oh, Tom ! 

Tom {coming back). What, my darling? 

Luella. You won’t miss the car, will you? 

Tom. Oh, no. Now brace up, Luella. I’ll be back in 
a jiffy. 

(Exit Tom, l. Miss Sharp looks after him disapprovingly. 
Terry ami Polly laugh and nod at Luella.) 

Terry. Say, Peaches ! 

Polly. What? 

Terry. 1 wish that was you an* me. 

Polly. Well, of all the nerve ! And you don’t even 
know my name. 

Terry {boldly). I don’t care. Ain’t my name enough 
for both of us ? 

Polly. Quit your kiddin’—I—say—well, what do you 
know about that? (.Points off l.) 

{Enter l., Betty, Letty and Hetty, the three Suffragettes. 
They wear broad sashes fro??i right shoulder to left hip , 
bearing the words , “ Votes for Women,” and Betty 
carries a ba?iner with the same motto.) 

Betty j 

Letty V {loudly). Votes for Women ! 

Hetty J 

Terry {on stool in front of counter). Hurray ! 

Betty {beaming on him). Oh, are you for the Cause? 
'Ferry {turning and winking at Polly). Sure. Me for 
the ladies every time. 

(Betty crosses to r.) 

Betty. Oh, isn’t that nice! Then you must have a 
badge. Of course you’re going down to the great conven¬ 
tion at the city to-day? 

{She takes from her bag a lar^e badge with “ Votes for 
Women ’ ’ on it, and pins it on his coat. Letty and 
Hetty talk to Miss Sharp.) 

Terry. Oh, no, ma’am. I work here. 



WAITING FOR THE TROLLEY 


*5 


Betty. Oh, then you can tell everybody about it and 
urge them to come, can’t you? (To Polly.) Why aren’t 
you wearing a badge ? 

Polly. Me? Oh, Pm not a suffragette. 

(Betty offers Miss Sharp a badge , but Miss Sharp 

refuses it.) 

Betty (fervently). Oh, my dear, not yet enrolled in 
the glorious cause of freedom ? Now, let me explain to 
you- 

(Betty moves around back of counter a?id buttonholes 
Polly. Terry slips down l. and pi?is his badge on 
Hiram, who is asleep , and then crosses r. winking at 
Luella, who is properly shocked. Exit Terry, r.) 

(Enter l. several woman passengers. Hetty rushes to one 
of the?n and commences conversation. Another , leading 
Percy, goes up to coutiter.) 

Woman Passenger. When’s that next car? (Percy 
pulls her dress.) Hush up, Percy. 

Polly. Ten o’clock. 

Percy. Ma-a, I want one of them apples. 

Woman Passenger. No, you don’t, neither. You don’t 
want nothin’ but a good shakin’ ! There ! 

(She pushes Percy down in seat , and seats herself.) 

Percy (loudly). Ma-a, what’s them women got on? 
Are they soldiers ? 

Letty (loudly). Yes, we are soldiers in the glorious 

cause of Woman. As I was just saying to this lady- 

Miss Sharp (loudly to Letty, who has been arguing 
with her). Don’t bring me into it. I ain’t got no patience 
with it. 

Letty. But surely you believe in Justice? 

Miss Sharp (snappily). Yes, I do, but I don’t go around 
yellin’ for it ! 

(Letty and Hetty sigh and shake their heads as though 
giving her up for a bad job. Then they move down r. 
to Luella.) 

Hetty (to Luella). Oh, of course you are one of us? 




i6 


WAITING FOR THE TROLLEY 


Letty. You’re for Votes for Women, I’m sure. 

Lueli.a ( looking up at them timidly'). Why, really, I 
don’t know. I- 

Hetty. Don’t know ! You must know ! 

(Takes out badge.) 

Letty. Are you a woman? You ought to be on your 
way to the great convention. Are you ? 

Lueli.a ( nervously). Oh—really—I—you must excuse 
me. You see, I don’t know whether Tom would approve 
of- 

Betty (suddenly leaving Polly and coi?iing down r. ; 
standing at Luella’s left side). What’s that ? Say it 
again. 

Luella (frightened). Why—I only said that Tom 
might not like it if I- 

Betty. 1'om ! 

Letty. Who’s Tom ? 

Hetty. A mere man ! 

Betty. My dear young lady, you don’t know that the 
world moves. No real woman nowadays waits for a man to 
tell her what to do. She tells him first. 

Letty. And then he’s glad to follow. 

Betty ( excitedly ). Why, look at that dear old gentle¬ 
man over there. ( Points to Hiram.) Observe his badge. 
This morning some noble, glorious, free woman pinned it 
on him, and he is proud, yes, proud, to wear it for her sake. 
(Hiram snores , and Polly giggles.) Now, are you coming 
to that convention or not? 

Lueli.a (rising). Really, you must excuse me. If Tom 
should come- Oh, there he is ! Oh, Tom ! 

(Enter Tom, l. He comes down c. Betty, Letty and 
Hetty rush at him shrieking.) 

Betty. Why, Tom Sweet ! Of all things ! 

Letty. Goodness gracious, Tom, where are you going? 

Hetty. Well, upon my word. Are you her Tom ? 

(Points to Luella.) 

Tom. Great Scott, girls, this is a surprise. Yes, Pm 
her Tom. (To Luella.) Three old friends of mine, 
Luella. (To girls.) Miss Luella Lovebird. 






WAITING FOR THE TROLLEY 17 

Betty. Pleased to meet you, I’m sure. And let me tell 
you, we have known Tom Sweet since- 

Letty. Since he was knee high to a grasshopper. 

Hetty. And you needn’t be one mite afraid of him. 

Tom. She isn’t. 

Betty. She is. She’s scared to death of you. 

Hetty. She won’t move a finger unless you say so. 

Luella ( indignant). Why, the idea ! 

Betty. Well, then, defy him and come along to the 
convention. We promised we’d bring at least one convert, 
and- 

Luella. Oh, Tom, tell them—I can’t do it. 

Letty {scornfully). Tom, indeed ! 

Tom. Really, girls, she can’t. We—we have a most 
urgent engagement in the city, and- 

Hetty. What can be more urgent than her public duty 
to her sex ? 

Letty } Votes for Women ! 

Tom {suddenly). Girls, look here, can you keep a secret ? 

Betty. Can we ! Try us. 

Tom. Well, there’s time before the car comes for a 
sundae apiece at the drug store across the street. I’ve got 
something to tell you. Come on, all of you. 

Luella. I don’t want any sundae. I can’t eat a thing. 
I’m going to stay right here. 

Tom. All right. We’ll be gone only a few minutes. 
The girls can help us, dearest. 

Luella {resigned). All right. But please hurry. 

Tom. We’ll be right back, my love. 

{Exeunt Tom, Betty, Letty and Hetty, l.) 

Percy. Ma-a, is all them women that man’s wives? 

Woman Passenger. Good gracious, no, Percy. 

Percy. But, ma-a-a- 

Woman Passenger. You hush up, Percy. 

Miss Sharp. I don’t wonder the child asks, ma’am. 
Such impudent carryings-on I never did see. Hussies 1 

{Enter Terry, r.) 

Terry {to Polly). Say, them two’s elopin’, Peaches ! 

Polly. Ain’t I got two eyes ? 






i8 


WAITING FOR THE TROLLEY 


Terry. No, you haven’t. They’re a pair of diamonds. 

Polly. Silly ! 

Terry. But say—her old man’s after ’em. 

Polly. Yes. But he won’t catch ’em. 

Terry. Won’t he, though? Jimmy Sullivan, over to 
the hotel, told me the old man’s been askin’ on the ’phone 
•whether anybody seen ’em, an’ he’s on the way now in an 
auto. He’ll be here any minute. 

Polly. Oh, my goodness. Why didn’t you say so at 
once? ( She runs dow?i to Luella.) Say, miss, excuse 
me, but I guess you’d better not stay here. 

Luella (frightened). Oh, what do you mean? 

Polly. Why, I just heard your father’s cornin’ in an 
auto, an’—— 

Luella ( jumping up). Oh, mercy ! Where’s Tom ? 
Get Tom, somebody. Oh, dear, what shall I do? Where 
shall I go ? Oh, please get Tom. 

Terry (coming down). Now, that’s all right, miss. 
You leave it to us. We’ll get you off all right, won’t we, 
Peaches ? 

Polly. Sure. (To Terry.) Here, put all her things 
behind the counter. Quick ! 

Terry. Sure. That’s the ticket. 

(Takes boxes , bags , etc., up r. and puts them behind the 

counter.) 

Polly. Come on, now ! (She pulls Luella up r. and 
pushes her down behind the counter.) Get down out of 
sight, miss. 

Luella ( bobbing up again). But Tom ! He’ll catch 
Tom ! 

Terry. No, he won’t. I’ll take care of Tom. 

Polly (pulling Luella down). We’ll take care of 
everything, miss. You just keep out of sight. Nobody 
here’s goin’ to give you away. 

Miss Sharp. Oh, ain’t they, though? 

Polly. No, they ain’t. Not if they know what’s good 
for ’em. (To Terry.) Go on ! What are you standing 
there for, you ninny? Go tell the young man, an’ get back 
here quick. That woman’s goin’ to make trouble if she 
can. ( Motions toward Miss Sharp.) 

Terry. Say, you’re all right, Peaches. I’m on. 



WAITING FOR THE TROLLEY I9 

(Exit Terry, l., hastily. Polly comes from behind counter 

ami looks out door l.) 

• % 

Polly. Oh, mercy me ! Here he comes. 

[Rushes up behind counter and begins to nonchalantly 
arrange the things on it. An auto horn heard far off, 
then nearer.') 

Miss Sharp. Well, pretty doin’s, I must say, for a re¬ 
spectable place. Pm goin’ to tell that young woman’s 
father the minute he comes in. 

(Polly picks tip cream-puff from counter and crosses to 

Miss Sharp.) 

Polly. Look here. Did you say you’re goin’ to a 
weddin’ ? 

Miss Sharp. Yes, I did. But first Pm goin’ to tell- 

Polly (i interrupting ). Well, I ain’t goin’ to any weddin’, 
but Pm goin’ to help one along. And you better not try to 
stop it, either. 

Miss Sharp. Oh, indeed, miss ! What will you do ? 
Polly (showing cream-puff ). I’ll smash this cream-puff 
all over your good clothes; that’s what I’ll do. Just by 
accident. 

Miss Sharp (furious). You wouldn’t dast! 

Polly. Wouldn’t I? You just start to tell—and you’ll 
see ! 

Woman Passenger (to Polly). That’s right, miss. Me 
an’ Percy’ll help you. 

Miss Sharp (gasping with rage). Well, of all the im- 
• pudence! 

(Auto horn heard very near.) 

Polly. There he comes. Now mind. 

(She retreats up R. to front of counter.) 

Mr. Lovebird (heard off l.). We’ve got ’em now, all 
right. You wait right there, Jones. (Rushes in l.) Where 
is she? And where is that scoundrel that brought her here? 
She’s here. I know she’s here ! 

(He looks all around the room , stopping c.) 



20 


WAITING FOR THE TROLLEY 


Miss Sharp (l.). Yes, sir. If you’ll look- 

Polly (r., behind Mr. Lovebird, holding up cream-puff 
threateningly). A-hem ! 

(Miss Sharp glares at her a?id steps nearer Mr. Lovebird.) 

Miss Sharp. Your daughter’s right there. 

(.Points to counter with her umbrella.) 

Mr. Lovebird {looking around). Where? Where? 

(Polly comes down r. and takes Mr. Lovebird by the 

arm.) 

Polly (in low to?ie to Mr. Lovebird). Excuse me, sir. 
Don’t pay any attention to her. She’s crazy. 

Mr. Lovebird (to Polly, after a quick look at Miss 
Sharp). Bless me, you don’t say ! 

Polly. Yes, poor thing. She don’t know what she’s 
sayin’. 

Miss Sharp. If you want your daughter you’ll find 
her- 

Polly (to Mr. Lovebird). Too bad. Crazy as a loon. 
We’ve had an awful time with her here this morning. 

Miss Sharp (coming down to Mr. Lovebird and seizing 
him by the arm). Now, you listen to me. They’ve got 
your daughter hid, and- 

(Terry, Betty and Letty rush in l. They run down to 
Miss Sharp and crowd aroutid her, shouting.) 

Terry. Your car’s coming, Miss Sharp. Hurry, now, 
if you don’t want to get left ! 

Betty. Yes, hurry ! Here, let me help you. 

Letty. Come on ; not a moment to lose. Come on. 
Hetty (appearing at door l.). Car for Cherry town ! 
All aboard ! 

(Terry, Betty and Letty shove Miss Sharp toward 

door l.) 

Miss Sharp (wildly waving her umbrella and shouting). 
’Tain’t, neither ! I won’t. I’m goin’ to tell this gentleman 
all about it. Lerame go, I say. Lem-me go ! 





WAITING FOR THE TROLLEY 


21 


(They hustle her out the door l., and her voice is heard 

protesting outside.') 

Percy. Ma-a ! Is them policeladies? 

Mr. Lovebird. Bless my soul. That’s what I want to 
know. Who are those people ? 

Polly. Why, that’s her keeper, and three nurses from 
the asylum. They got here just in time. She was goin’ to 
put your eye out with that umbrella. 

Mr. Lovebird. My, my ! What a narrow escape ! I 
thank you for warning me. Now, young lady, I want you 
to help me again. I’m looking for my daughter. She’s 
eloping with a young scoundrel, and I’m told they came in 
here a few minutes ago. Where are they ? 

Polly. Came here? You don’t say ! 

Mr. Lovebird. Yes, I do say, and I’m going to stop 
them. Did they get on a car ? 

Polly. Oh, no, sir. Last car went at nine-thirty. 

Mr. Lovebird. Well, did you see them? 

Polly. Well, now, I’ve been so busy, and so many have 
been in and out, I might have seen them and not noticed. 
You might ask that old gentleman. 

(Points to Hiram. Mr. Lovebird goes l. to Hiram and 
shakes him. Polly goes up to cou?iter laughing.) 

Mr. Lovebird. Hey, wake up ! 

(Hiram wakes slowly, then suddenly springs to his feet.) 

Hiram. Car cornin’?—Gol ding it, what’s on my ear? 
[The package that Terry has tied to Hiram’s ear swings 
by its string. Hiram whirls around and the package hits 
Mr. Lovebird.) Leggo my ear, dad burn it! Leggo my 
ear! [He claws wildly at the string , and it comes off. 
Hiram, string in hand , advances savagely to Mr. Lovebird. 
Polly watches them, laughing.) D’you tie that to my ear ? 
Mr. Lovebird. No, I wasn’t near you. 

Hiram. Can’t hear me, hey? [Shouts.) Well, I’ll 
make ye hear me. 

[He grabs Mr. Lovebird and belabors him with the pack¬ 
age. Mr. Lovebird tries frantically to escape.) 

[Enter Terry, l. ) 


22 


WAITING FOR THE TROLLEY 


Mr. Lovebird. Stop this ! You’ve got the wrong per¬ 
son ! I didn’t doit. Stop ! 

(Terry, unseen by Mr. Lovebird and Hiram, takes Luel- 

la’s boxes, etc., out door r. Luella’s frightened face 

appears over cou?iter. Polly is trying to comfort her.) 

Hiram ( suddenly pausing and looking ruefully at his 
package). By gum ! They was two settin’s o’ Plymouth 
Rock eggs in that there package. 

Polly {to Luella). Now, come on. You slip outside 
till he’s gone ! 

{Exeunt Polly and Luella quietly, l.) 

Mr. Lovebird ( to Hiram). Pm sorry about the eggs. 
All a mistake. 

Hiram. Hey! What’s that? 

Mr. Lovebird {shouting). I said I’m sorry. It’s all a 
mistake. 

Hiram {indignant). Mistake, hey ! Tyin’ that string 
on my ear wa’n’t no mistake. Somebody done that on 
purpose, an’ I’ll- 

Mr. Lovebird {shouting). Look here. I’ll pay for the 
eggs if you’ll help me find my daughter. 

Hiram. If I think you’d orter ! Of course I think you’d 
orter. Didn’t ye make me break ’em? Two settin’s of the 
finest Plymouth- 

Mr. Lovebird. I’m looking for my daughter ! 

Hiram {still holding Mr. Lovebird firmly by the anti). 
Oh, your daughter done it. Well, I’d hate to arrest a gal, 
but, by heck, I’ll have the law- 

Mr. Lovebird {shouting). No, no. I’m looking—for 
—my—daughter. 

Hiram. Oh, why didn’t ye say so ? So’m I. An’when 
1 find her- 

Mr. Lovebird {shouting). She’s eloped—with a scoundrel 
named Sweet—Tom Sweet. 

Hiram. Tom Sweet ? No ye don’t. He wasn’t mixed 
up in this. Ye can’t put it off on a fine young feller like 
him. 

Mr. Lovebird {shouting). Oh, then you know Tom 
Sweet ? 






WAITING FOR THE TROLLEY 23 

Hiram. Know him ! Course I know him. Smartest 
young lawyer around these parts. 

Mr. Lovebird. Have you seen him here to-day? 

Hiram. No, I ain’t. But if ye don’t pay up now ye’ll 
see him right quick. 

Mr. Lovebird. Good gracious, this old idiot is making 
me lose valuable time. (7b Hiram.) Well, how much 
is it ? 

Hiram. Now ye’re talkin’sense. Le’see. About ninety 
cents an’ the car fare, an’ my time’s wuth suthin’, too. 
We’ll call it two dollars. 

Mr. Lovebird. You old thief ! 

Hiram. Cheap ! Of course it’s cheap. But I don’t 
want no fuss. 

Mr. Lovebird ( handing Hiram money). Here you are. 
Now let rne go. 

Hiram. All right. Here’s your eggs. 

(Hands Mr. Lovebird package.) 

Mr. Lovebird. I don’t want your eggs. 

( Throws package violently over to L.) 

Hiram (going over to l., and picking up package). Well, 
if ye don’t want ’em, I’ll take ’em along. Mebbe some of 
’em’s good yet. 

(Sits on bench L., examines package , and finally during 
following dialogue, falls asleep again.) 

(Enter Polly and Terry, r. They go up r., to counter , 
Polly passing behind it, while Terry sits on stool, whis¬ 
tling cheerfully.) 

Mr. Lovebird (up c.). Well, that was a pretty mess you 
got me into. 

Polly. Who, me ? 

Mr. Lovebird. Yes, you ; both of you. There’s some¬ 
thing crooked here. You’re hiding my daughter. I 
know it. 


(Enter Miss Sharp, l.) 

Terry. Your daughter ! What do you mean ? There’s 
no one hidden here. 


24 


WAITING FOR THE TROLLEY 


Miss Sharp. Yes, there is. They’re foolin’ you, but 
they can’t fool me. 

Mr. Lovebird (nervously). She said you’re crazy. 

Miss Sharp. I know what she said. And what she did, 
too, and she’ll suffer for it. You just look behind that 
counter. 

Mr. Lovebird. H’m, behind the counter, eh? I knew 
there was something queer here. 

Miss Sharp. Queer? I should say so. Your daugh¬ 
ter’s hidin’ there. I seen her. 

Mr. Lovebird ( threateningly to Terry). Stand aside 
and let me look or I’ll call an officer. 

Terry (innocently). Oh, go as far as you like. It ain’t 
nothin’ to me. 

(He strolls nonchalantly down l., whistling. Mr. Love¬ 
bird darts eagerly around behind the counter.) 

Mr. Lovebird. Now, Luella, come out of there at- 

(He stops suddenly , dazed.) She’s not there ! 

Miss Sharp. She was. I seen her, I tell you. 

Polly (shaking her head sadly). Too bad, ain’t it? 
I told you she was crazy. 

Miss Sharp. Crazy! Crazy! I’ll show you who’s 
crazy. I’m goin’ to git the law on you if it takes my last 
cent. Crazy, hey? 


(Exit L., a?igrily.) 

Mr. Lovebird (c.). Well, there’s certainly something 
queer about it. They must have come here. (To Terry.) 
You saw them here, didn’t you? 

Terry. Not on your life. No, sirree ! (He suddenly 
notices that Polly is violently signaling him to say “yes.") 
Er—that is—your daughter’s kind of elderly, an’—an’ stout, 
ain’t she ? 

Mr. Lovebird. No, sir. She is not. She’s slender, 
and she’s only twenty, and she’s eloped. 

(Polly signals again.) 

Terry (a great light seeming to burst on him). Oh-h ! 
A very good-lookin’ young lady, with er—a canary bird ? 
Mr. Lovebird. That’s the one—that’s the one ! You 



WAITING FOR THE TROLLEY 25 

saw her? Which way did she go? Come, I’ll make it 
worth your while. 

Terry ( looking at Polly helplessly ). Well, now really, 
you see, Pm in an’ out so much, an’ what with so many dif¬ 
ferent cars cornin’ an’ goin’, as you might say—that- 

Polly. He means that the auto might have come and 
gone without his seeing it. 

Mr. Lovebird. An auto ! They went in an auto ? 

Polly. Well, they were here. She was settin’ right 
there on that bench ( pointhig to bench r.), weren’t they ? 

(To Terry.) 

Terry. Uh-huh. That’s right. Sure they were. I 
remember ’em. He had her head on his shoulder, an’ he 
sez to her, “ Darlin’,” he sez- 

Mr. Lovebird. Never mind what he said. (Zb Polly.) 
And they went away in an automobile? 

Polly. Well, 1 was goin’ to say, only a minute or so be¬ 
fore you came in, I heard an auto come up right outside, 
didn’t I ? (To Terry.) 

Terry. Sure you did. Horn was goin’ to beat the 
band. 

Mr. Lovebird ( impatiently ). Yes, yes, and they went 
away in it. 

Polly. Well, they certainly went away. When I looked 
around later they were gone. 

Mr. Lovebird. Gone! Gone! And I almost had him. 
Oh, the scoundrel ! Which way did they go? 

Polly. Well, I did hear them say something about the 
city, didn’t you? (To Terry.) 

Terry. Did I? He was squeezing her like a potato 
masher, an’ he sez, “ Darling,” he sez, “your old man’ll 
never ketch us,” he sez, “an’ when we get to the city,” he 
sez- 

Mr. Lovebird. That’s enough. (To Polly.) You’re 
a fine, clever girl, my dear. Here ! (He hands her money. ) 
Pll catch ’em yet. The scoundrel ! I’ll stop him if I break 
every speed law in the State. (He rushes out l. ) 

Percy {looking l.). Ma-a ! Where’s that man with the 
funny whiskers goin’ ? (Auto horn heard l.) 

Woman Passenger. He’s goin’ to get left, Percy. 

Other Passengers (laughing). That’s right. He’s 
fooled, all right, etc. 





26 


WAITING FOR THE TROLLEY 


Polly ( dancing around and waving a bill'). Five dol¬ 
lars ! And we saved ’em after all. Hurray ! 

Terry ( catching her hand and dancing around with her). 
Hurray ! Now let’s get ’em back. Their car’s about due. 
Hiram ( waking up). Car cornin’ ? 

Terry. You bet you. Keep awake one minute more, 
and you’re all right. 

(Exit , l.) 

(Polly rushes to door r., and brings in Luella, then drags 

in her boxes , etc.) 

Polly. Come on. It’s all right ! He’s gone ! 

Luella. Oh, and he didn’t find Tom ? 

Polly. Not yet. But he’s after him at fifty miles an 
hour. 

Luella. Oh, mercy ! Has Tom gone? 

(Enter Tom hastily , L., followed by the three Suffragettes.) 

Tom. Gone ! Not much, sweetheart. Our good friends 
here helped us out. (He takes Luella i?i his arms c.) 

Percy. Oh, ma-a! That man’s a-bitin’ that there 
lady’s cheek ! 

Woman Passenger. You hush up, Percy. {Alllaugh.) 
Betty {laughing). And the Cause ! You’re going to 
be for our side after this ? 

Tom. Am I ? {Holds up his hand and shouts.) Votes 
for Women ! Luella, if you want to be a Suffragette, go as 
far as you like—after we’re married. 

Luella. Oh, dear, we won’t ever be married if that car 
doesn’t come. 

(Terry appears at door l.) 

Terry. Car for the city. All aboard. 

{A trolley gong heard off l. Woman Passenger, Percy, 
and Other Passengers exeu?it l.) 

Hiram. Hey—that my car? 

Terry. Sure. Come on. Cars for the city, Punkin- 
ville, Cherrytown, every old place. Come on. 

(Hiram goes out l.) 


WAITING FOR THE TROLLEY 


2? 


Betty. Come on, girls. Let’s help them on. 

{Each of the girls takes a bag or a box and goes out l.) 

Luella {to Polly). Oh, I don’t know how to thank 
you ! 

Polly. Don’t do it now. Come back when you’re safely 
married. 

Tom. We will. Good-bye. 

(Luella and Tom hastily shake hands with Polly. Tom 
carries coats and umbrella.') 

Polly {shoving Tom and Luella l.). Oh, hurry, you’ll 
miss it after all. Good-bye, good-bye, good-bye. {Exeunt 
Tom a?id Luella, l. Polly stands in door l., looking off 
and waving her hand. A trolley gong heard off l. Polly 
waves once more , then comes down c., and sighs happily. 
Enter Terry quietly , l.) Oh, gee. Ain’t they happy, 
though ? I wish it was me. 

Terry {coming down and putting his arm around her). 
You mean you wish it was us. 

Polly [making a pretense of struggling). I don’t. Im¬ 
pudence. My gracious, how strong you are. 

Terry. You bet 1 am—strong for you, Peaches. Say, 
goin’ to like this place ? 

Polly. Well, I take it back about nothing happening 
here. 

Terry. Well, something more’s goin’ to happen soon. 

Polly {smiling up at him). Say—what’s your real name, 
anyway ? 


CURTAIN 



Unusually Good Entertainments 

Read One or More of These Before Deciding on 
Your Next Program 

A SURPRISE PARTY AT BRINKLEY’S. An En¬ 
tertainment in One Scene, by Ward Macauley. Seven male and 
seven female characters. Interior scene, or may be given with¬ 
out scenery. Costumes, modern. Time, one hour. By the 
author of the popular successes, “Graduation Day at Wood Hill 
School,” “Back to the Country Store,” etc. The villagers have 
planned a birthday surprise party for Mary Brinkley, recently 
graduated from college. They all join in jolly games, songs, 
conundrums, etc., and Mary becomes engaged, which surprises 
the surprisers. The entertainment is a sure success. Price, 15 cents* 

JONES VS. JINKS. A Mock Trial in One Act, by 
Edward Mumford. Fifteen male and six female characters, with 
supernumeraries if desired. May be played all male. Many of the 
parts (members of the jury, etc.) are small. Scene, a simple 
interior; may be played without scenery. Costumes, modern. 
Time of playing, one hour. This mock trial has many novel 

features, unusual characters and quick action. Nearly every 

character has a funny entrance and laughable lines. There are 
•many rich parts, and fast fun throughout. Price, 15 cents. 

THE SIGHT-SEEING CAR. A Comedy Sketch in One 
Act, by Ernest M. Gould. For seven males, two females, or 
may be all male. Parts may be doubled, with quick changes, so 
that four persons may play the sketch. Time, forty-five minutes. 
Simple street scene. Costumes, modern. The superintendent 
of a sight-seeing automobile engages two men to run the 
machine. A Jew, a farmer, a fat lady and other humorous 

characters give them all kinds of trouble. This is a regular gat- 

ling-gun stream of rollicking repartee. Price, 15 cents. 

THE CASE OF SMYTHE VS. SMITH. An Original 
Mock Trial in One Act, by Frank Dumont. Eighteen males 
and two females, or may be all male. Plays about one hour. 
Scene, a county courtroom ; requires no scenery ; may be played 
in an ordinary hall. Costumes, modern. This entertainment is 
nearly perfect of its kind, and a sure success. It can be easily 
produced in any place or on any occasion, and provides almost 
any number of good parts. Price, 15 cents. 

THE OLD MAIDS’ ASSOCIATION. A Farcical Enter¬ 
tainment in One Act, by Louise Latham Wilson. For thirteen 
females and one male. The male part may be played by a 
female, and the number of characters increased to twenty or 
more. Time, forty minutes. The play requires neither scenery 
nor properties, and very little in the way of costumes. Can 
easily be prepared in one or two rehearsals. Price, 25 cents. 

BARGAIN DAY AT BLOOMSTEIN’S. A Farcical 
Entertainment in One Act, by Edward Mumford. For five males 
and ten females, with supers. Interior scene. Costumes, mod¬ 
ern. Time, thirty minutes. The characters and the situations 
which arise from their endeavors to buy and sell make rapid-fire 
fun from start to finish. Price, 15 cents. 

THE PENN PUBLISHING COMPANY 

PHILADELPHIA 


Unusually Good Entertainments 

Read One or More of These Before Deciding on 
Your Next Program 

GRADUATION DAY AT WOOD HILL SCHOOL. 

An Entertainment in Two Acts, by Ward Macauley. For six 
males and four females, with several minor parts._ Time of 
playing, two hours. Modern costumes. Simple interior scenes; 
may be presented in a had without scenery. The unusual com¬ 
bination of a real “entertainment,” including music, recitations, 
etc., with an interesting love story. The graduation exercises, 
include short speeches, recitations, songs, funny interruptions,' 
and a comical speech by a country school trustee. Price, 15 
cents. 

EXAMINATION DAY AT WOOD HILL SCHOOL. 

An Entertainment in One Act, by Ward Macauley. Eight male 
and six female characters, with minor parts. Plays one hour. 
Scene, an easy interior, or may be given without scenery. Cos¬ 
tumes, modern. Miss Marks, the teacher, refuses to marry a 
trustee, who threatens to discharge her. The examination in¬ 
cludes recitations and songs, and brings out many funny answers 
to questions. At the close Robert Coleman, an old lover, claims 
the teacher. Very easy and very effective. Price, 15 cents. 

BACK TO THE COUNTRY STORE. A Rural Enter¬ 
tainment in Three Acts, by Ward Macauley. For four male 
and five female characters,, with some supers. Time, two hours. 
Two scenes, both easy interiors. Can be played effectively with¬ 
out scenery. Costumes, modern. All the principal parts are 
sure hits. Quigley Higginbotham, known as “Quig,” a clerk in 
a country store, aspires to be a great author or singer and 
decides to try his fortunes in New York. The last scene is in 
Quig’s home. He returns a failure but is offered a partnership 
in the country store. He pops the question in the midst of a 
surprise party given in his honor. Easy to do and very funny. 
Price, 15 cents. 

THE DISTRICT CONVENTION. A Farcical Sketch 
in One Act, by Frank Dumont. For eleven males and one 
female, or twelve males. Any number of other parts or super¬ 
numeraries may be added. Plays forty-five minutes. No special 
scenery is required, and the costumes and properties are all*, 
easy. The play shows an uproarious political nominating con¬ 
vention. The climax comes when a woman’s rights, cham¬ 
pion, captures the convention. There is a great chance to bur¬ 
lesque modern politics and to work in local gags. Every 
part will make a hit. Price, 15 cents. 

SI SLOCUM’S COUNTRY STORE. An Entertainment 

in One Act, by Frank Dumont. Eleven male and five female 
characters with supernumeraries. Several parts may be doubled. 
Plays one hour. Interior scene, or may be played without set 
scenery. Costumes, modern. The rehearsal for an entertain¬ 
ment in the village church gives plenty of opportunity for 
specialty work. A very jolly entertainment of the sort adapted 
to almost any place or occasion. Price, 15 cents. 

THE PENN PUBLISHING COMPANY 

PHILADELPHIA 


J 










Successful Plays for All Girls 

In Selecting Your Next Play Do Not Overlook This List 

YOUNG DOCTOR DEVINE. A Farce in Two Acts, 
by Mrs. E. J. H. Goodfellow. One of the most popular 
plays for girls. For nine female characters. Time in 
playing, thirty minutes. Scenery, ordinary interior. Mod¬ 
ern costumes. Girls in a boarding-school, learning that a 
young doctor is coming to vaccinate all the pupils, eagerly con¬ 
sult each other as to the manner of fascinating the physician. 
When the doctor appears upon the scene the pupils discover that 
the physician is a female practitioner. Price, 15 cents. 

SISTER MASONS. A Burlesque in One Act, by Frank 
Dumont. For eleven females. Time, thirty minutes. Costumes, 
fantastic gowns, or dominoes. Scene, interior. A grand expose 
of Masonry. Some women profess to learn the secrets of a 
Masonic lodge by hearing their husbands talk in their sleep, 
and they institute a similar organization. Price, 15 cents. 

A COMMANDING POSITION. A Farcical Enter¬ 
tainment, by Amelia Sanford. For seven female char¬ 
acters and ten or more other ladies and children. Time, one 
hour. Costumes, modern. Scenes, easy interiors and one street 
scene. Marian Young gets tired living with her aunt, Miss 
Skinflint. She decides to “attain a commanding position.” 
Marian tries hospital nursing, college settlement work and 
school teaching, but decides to go back to housework. Price, 15 
cents. 

HOW A WOMAN KEEPS A SECRET. A Comedy 
in One Act, by Frank Dumont. For ten female characters. 
Time, half an hour. Scene, an easy interior. Costumes, modern. 
Mabel Sweetly has just become engaged to Harold, but it’s “the 
deepest kind of a secret.” Before announcing it they must win 
the approval of Harold’s uncle, now in Europe, or lose a possible 
ten thousand a year. At a tea Mabel meets her dearest friend. 
Maude sees Mabel has a secret, she coaxes and Mabel tells her. 
But Maude lets out the secret in a few minutes to another 
friend and so the secret travels. Price, 15 cents. 

THE OXFORD AFFAIR. A Comedy in Three Acts, 
by Josephine H. Cobb and Jennie E. Paine. For eight female 
characters. Plays one hour and three-quarters. Scenes, inter¬ 
iors at a seaside hotel. Costumes, modern. The action of the 
play is located at a summer resort. Alice Graham, in order to 
chaperon herself, poses as a widow, and Miss Oxford first claims 
her as a sister-in-law, then denounces her. The onerous duties 
of Miss Oxford, who attempts to serve as chaperon to Miss 
Howe and Miss Ashton in the face of many obstacles, furnish 
an evening of rare enjoyment. Price 15 cents. 

THE PENN PUBLISHING COMPANY 

PHILADELPHIA 


The Power of 

Expression and efficiency go hand in hand. 

The power of clear and forceful expression brings confi¬ 
dence and poise at all times—in private gatherings, in public 
discussion, in society, in business. 

It is an invaluable asset to any man or woman. It can often 
be turned into money, but it is always a real joy. 

In learning to express thought, we learn to command 
thought itself, and thought is power. You can have this 
power if you will. 

Whoever has the power of clear expression is always sure 
of himself. 

The power of expression leads to: 

The ability to think “on your feet” 

Successful public speaking 

Effective recitals 

The mastery over other minds 

Social prominence 

Business success 

Efficiency in any undertaking 

Are these things worth while? 

They are all successfully taught at The National School of 
Elocution and Oratory, which during many years has de¬ 
veloped this power in hundreds of men and women. 

A catalogue giving full information as to how any of these 
accomplishments may be attained will be sent free on request. 

THE NATIONAL SCHOOL OF 
ELOCUTION AND ORATORY 

Parkway Building 


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